I feel like I am a
pretty socially savvy person. I can pick up on subtle hints of when someone
wants to wrap up a conversation or if someone is in a bad mood and to ask them
how to unjam the copier another time. I’ve even been known to get a date or
two.
But there is one
place where my social skills seem to fly out the window.
The wedding greeting
line.
Even if it’s one of
my best girlfriends who is getting married, I am a goob.
It starts when I pull
up to the reception place. I really should learn to start going to weddings
with a wing woman. I don’t know why I think I’ll be fine walking in by myself
because I’m not. I either have a huge coat when it’s hot out or didn’t wear
something warm enough in the Fall. So I’m fidgeting with my outfit when the heavy
breathing starts.
It’s like I think
that there are going to be goblins when I walk in. What if I don’t know anyone
there? What if I do know people there and I secretly want to avoid them? When
do I leave? Now? No. I have to say hi to at least the bride. Or her mom.
I look frantically
for a book to sign or a bridal picture to stare at longer than normal until I
see someone I know.
Once I find someone
to stand in line with me I get way too uncomfortable. My hands get clammy as I tell
the person I’m with for the second time that I hope they play Single Ladies.
Then when it’s my
turn at the line…terrible things happen.
One time I was too
eager and jumped in front of the group and started talking to the couple then
when my friends behind me started talking to the couple I found myself face to
face with the groom’s parents whom I’d never met before and I called their son
the wrong name. Multiple times.
Another time the
bride’s s dress scratched my arm something fierce and I started bleeding.
And my personal
favorite, I hugged my friend’s groom and my necklace got stuck on his top
button and we were stuck. It would have been funny if I was able to untangle
myself quickly but we ended up needing a third person to detach us. If you’ve
ever been stuck on someone’s top button you realize how close your faces are. Hope
you two have a fun honeymoon! As soon as I release your husband!
Hi, I’m Char, and I’m
awkward.
Never, ever going to
another wedding again….this week.
Charlotte
