Saturday, June 8, 2013

Gett'in the Scoop


So there I was at the bank. Minding by own monetary business.

When it happened.

An old neighbor swooped through the air like an eagle, hungry for my personal life.

Now, it would be one thing if we had a relationship to build off of this sudden interest in my life but it truly was out of the blue.

She asked, ‘Well…have you been BUSY?” raising her eyebrows rapidly.

“Um…yeah. Work and school and stuff. I just got a new job.”

“Oh really? Anything else?

I was starting to think the poor woman had a condition that made her widen her eyes that wide at me.

“My sister just had a baby so I see her a lot” (Atta girl Char. Throw her off your scent.  She’s not getting anything about dating out of you. I should have told her 31 flavors was down the street if she wanted the scoop. 

She couldn’t help herself though. I suspect other Spinsters give in easier than I do.

“And BOYS????”

AHHH….there we go. No getting around this one.

“Oh you know….just having fun.”

Cue her speech.

“Well, MY son Rob took awhile to get married too. He just really took his time and I was really worried. I didn’t know what he was doing waiting that long. And then he finally found a great girl. He realized after awhile he just really needed to settle down.”

Then, with concerned eyes and as much force as she could muster in a whisper,

“Marriage really is a blessing.”

Bless her heart.

I should have told her I put the “in” in Spinster.

Going through the bank drive thru from now on,


  1. Wow, the nerve of some people. Like, don't you think we would be married if there was anyone awesome enough to consider us. Sheesh!

  2. This is such a classic thing for neighbors to do. And it is so insensitive. It was almost the second I signed up for dating services in Vancouver somehow all of my old weird neighbors knew. And then I regretted that action ever since. Sorry people are insensitive!

  3. The first time I read this, I thought it said you were in the bath. That made for quite an interesting read.

    I'm glad to find out you ran into your neighbor at the bank. It's a lot more kosher to bump into people at the bank rather than in the bathtub.

    Thanks for the laugh.

  4. For a second, I thought I was reading my journal.

  5. This is amazing. Gotta love the neighb's that have been married for a long time... I mean really a long time....dust away the cobwebs people!

  6. Haha! This post made me laugh out loud. People can be so nosy sometimes *SMH*