Friday, January 11, 2013

No Name Boy, A Number and Hearing Aids

I had a lot of good options.

Tall ones, short ones, freckled ones, ones with contagious laughs, ones that maybe wouldn’t be jerks….

I was ready. This party was stocked with eligible bachelors.

Oh good! One was walking towards me.

No Name Boy: “Char!”
Me: “Um…hi?”
No Name Boy: “I haven’t seen you in forever! How’ve you been?”

Okay. Quick. How does this guy know my name? Have we had class together? Gone on a date? Were neighbors as children?

Best idea? Fake like I know him. Yeah. That will be good.

Me: “I know! How have you been….friend?”

Oh crap. I don’t know his name! And now I’ve pretended like I know him. Think, think, think!

No Name Boy: “Oh you know…school and work and I’ve joined lots of extra curricular things so that’s keeping me busy”.

After a few minutes of chit chat and deciding I’m not super jazzed about this fellow I try and peace.

Me: “Well…I need to go talk to Kristine but it’s so good to see you!”
NNB: “Well let me get your number so we can hang out again!”

Again? We’ve already hung out? I need to start taking me some memory vitamins.

We exchange digits and then horror of horrors I realize I’m gonna have to type his name into my phone as he is looking over my shoulder. The name I don’t know.

As my little cursor blinks at me on my phone he looks at me and I say all nervously,

 “Oh…how do you spell your name again? I know it’s like way different.”
NNB: “It’s mumble, mumble, mumble.”
Me: “What?”
NNB: “It’s mumble, mumble, mumble.”
Me: (again)” What?”

Seriously, after my memory vitamins I’m going to get hearing aids.
NNB: “It’s Brad. B-R-A-D”.

Oh my! That was too easy of a name! Hurry! Think of something! Cover your lie with another lie!

Me: “No, no. I know your first name. It was your last name that was really tricky and long.”
NNB: “F-O-X. My last name is Fox.”

And that was when he looked at me and realized I had no idea who he was.


Moral of the story ladies: Don’t try and pretend that you know someone’s name. Own up.

Or at least stock up at memory vitamins and hearing aids.

Gold medal in creating uncomfortable situations,



  1. See, what you do it hand over the phone and say, "Here! Put your number in! You can do it faster than me."

  2. hahaha oh my gosh, that is so bad! so funny and so bad!! poor brad fox.