This is a true story.
We have even gone to the extent of asking the victim for permission to print this story.
It must be told.
The date was not going well for Lass.
Her date had difficulty accepting the fact that Lass was better than him at everything they did.
For example, they went racing in go carts and in an angry fury, Date stormed up to the guy in charge and demanded to know if Lass’ car was faster than his.
It wasn’t. She was just faster.
Later, he challenged her to a game that, quote, he had never ever lost at.
It was a battle of wits game and Lass was, well, wittier.
He then wanted to see how strong she was and challenged her to squeeze his hand as hard as she could. Lass has class and did not squeeze.
Other atrocities were committed on this date but let’s skip to dessert shall we?
As if this little beauty isn’t awkward enough on good dates. Lass wanted to make this quick but Date had other plans.
First he put his fist out to give bones.
Bones. On the doorstep.
However, Lass balled her fist in order to give him bones but he moved his hand away too quickly and covered his mouth and yelled, “OOOOOHHHHH!” in a barbarically competitive tone as if his team had just scored on her team. He then said, “Just kidding” and went in to give her a hug.
That’s when it happened.
Lass was leaning in trying to get the hug over with when all of a sudden he started swinging his arms like a sea creature and body rolling away from her saying, “Squid…squid…squid…”
Frozen in terror, Lass stood cemented on her doorstep. Her Date laughed and said, “Nah I’m just kidding” and went in for another hug.
THEN HE DID IT AGAIN!!!!
Anything we say after this will not be as funny as what we just recounted but we do believe it is requisite to tell you Lass,
BLESS. YOUR. HEART. (and your sea creature date)
And you guys thought your dates were bad….
Gert and Char