Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Fire, Ice and Slurpees


We were recently emailed by a reader asking when it was ok to start going after a guy who had recently broken up with another girl/severed an engagement.

Wow. Wow. Wow.

This puppy gets down to a science and you better start rock’in your hair like Einstein because this gets tricky. 

We call this the “Fire and Ice” syndrome.

 Fire: If you go after him too early you are in danger of rebound territory. He could be looking for anything anywhere to lodge his emotions and if you are the nearest target then BAM! You’re dating. But…….there is the possibility that, like a match, the relationship will start quickly, burn quickly and be snuffed out almost as fast as it was lit.

Ice: If you wait too long you’re in danger of getting a cold. Breaking up is owie and if he is left unattended for too long then he could harden up like Antarctica and not want to let anyone in. That leaves you with an ice pick and a parka hacking away at a heart that refuses to thaw.

Solution: Go to 7-11. Have you ever looked at the consistency of a slurpee? It’s just cold enough to be refreshing but relaxed enough to not give you the shivers.

You need to catch this boy during his “slurpee” phase.

Slurpee Phase: noun. When a male has been broken up with his old girl long enough that he has some control over his emotions while at the same time still open to a relationship.

How do you know when he has reached his slurpee phase? How should we know? You’re the one with the crazy Einstein hair. Seriously though, get your feminine intuition on and feel it out. You’re smarter than you think.

 Getting way too many brainfreezes,

Charlotte and Gertrude 


  1. you guys and youre metaphors. good heavens, you've done it again.

  2. Thank you Spinsters. This was pretty helpful... Summer time is Slurpee season after all!

  3. Thanks girls. What happens when the boy decides to dump you even when you're not even dating yet, for a girl that is not even cute and older than him?? That's such a slap in the face. Didn't see that one coming. I kinda wanna throw a
    SLURPEE in his freaking face!

    Slapped silly,